“I’m only friends with guys.” – The Value of Female Friendship

July 25, 2015November 26, 20203 Comments

Raise your hand if you have heard this phrase before! raise_your_hand

And chances are, as a woman, you have probably heard this from another woman. Which at the time you may say to them, “Yeah, it is just so much easier!” However later the thought will come across your mind of,

Does she not want to be friends with me then?

10491117_849983075052568_9055937730992034841_n Today I want to discuss the value of friendship. More specifically, the value of another female companion to take over the world with.

Yes, friendship with men is great. Friendship with any person is great. But lately there has been a trend of hating on your fellow women companions. Yes, companions- not your competitor.

After moving away from Orlando in August of 2014, it was just a few months later that I started feeling lonely despite being surrounded by my boyfriend’s presence. I realized just how bad I missed the ladies in my life. I also realized how much I really valued their friendship, and I began to feel sad and guilty for not putting more of my heart and soul into the friendship with these amazing girls.

Making new friends and looking back on old ones, I started seeing how cruel we can be to the friends in our life. We tend to think of other woman as competition instead of allies.

Woman are great and can be such a valuable asset in your life. You can complain to your boyfriend or male friends about your period, but no one else but a woman will be able to understand a cramp so painful that you end up curled up in a ball in the middle of a grocery store aisle, or that weird position you lay in on the floor just to be comfortable during that time of the month. 259159_10150277925551031_2261002_o

I once talked to a woman and as we were getting to know each other, she says to me,

“I hate girls. I can only be friends with men.”

So that friendship lasted about two weeks.

It’s so curious that we are constantly putting down other woman, but especially that we are putting down our own friends. We make fun of what our friends wear, how their makeup looks, the job they have in order to make ourselves feel better and more confident about the choices we ourselves have made. How weird is that?

I went to visit Orlando in March of this year, and spent essentially most of my time with my old girlfriends from there. One of them even took off work to make sure we’d get to hang out. And it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in awhile- and one of the most eye opening. They were all so encouraging and inspiring to be around. I felt like I could be me without any judgment.

That’s when I realized how bad it could be having people around who are constantly putting me and others down for no other reason but their own self-assurance. I’ve had friends make fun of me for wearing makeup, not wearing makeup, being too casual or not formal enough- c’mon, have you ever heard, “Why do you look so nice?” Excuse me?! Why not?! I’ve even had friends comment on my weight randomly (“Why are you drinking/eating that?”).

Instead we could be celebrating each other! Just because your friend shows up to hang out looking good is no reason to put her down. Tell her how hot she looks and enjoy your day! Flaunt the confidence of your friendship all over the world and take no shit. If your friend is on a diet, ask her how you can help, or be there during her cheat day to tell her it’s okay to eat the entire tub of ice cream if she wants to.

Your good lady friends are essential. Be one of those friends who inspires others to love and support each other the way you should! And when people are asshats to you- just ignore it. You are meant for a 775219_10151414621436031_890320238_o beautiful friendship that doesn’t involve pulling each other down. Lift each other up instead and have the kind of relationship that inspires others to do the same.

So 231110_10150250140986031_3337478_n I challenge you to do something different. Be there for your friends. Don’t hate on someone because they are the same gender as you. Love them for who they are, and look forward to those nights on the couch with them drinking wine and watching The Holiday.

No, I will not get you into Disney.

June 14, 2015March 9, 201639 Comments

“So, you work at Disney, right?”

Dun dun DUN! The dreaded question most cast members receive at least once in their time with the mouse. The first time it happens, you’re wondering to yourself, “Why is this person messaging me when we haven’t talked in 6 years?” Then it happens. They beat around the bush about you working at Disney until finally they get up the nerve to ask how you can hook them up.

Or, you get the opposite. Here’s an example of someone asking me that I… 1. Had only talked to once in my life and 2. This is the second sentence they ever said to me about a month after meeting them:

Her: “Can you get me and my boyfriend in for free to Disneyland?”

Me: “Sorry, I’d have to be there and I’m in Nevada for school right now.”

… and no response.

Constantly people are asking me for advice, discounts, free entry- and usually I’m very nice about it and try to help in other ways- and yet I never receive a response back because it’s not a, “Hey you! I’d love to get you in for free even though I barely know more than your name!”

So, this is an open letter to everyone who knows someone – who knows someone – that works at Disney to explain why we do not spread our free entry to all the citizens in the land. And why, when you ask us for help with planning, please remember to say “thank you”.

Dear Acquaintance,

Let me start off by saying that we really do understand how expensive it is to go to Disney. Although us cast members get to enjoy the parks for free, we deal with guests every day that remind us how hard they worked to get there, along with how much they spent. When the prices go up, so does our anxiety: because we know exactly how stressful it’s going to be on the people that come through our gate, and it’s our job to make sure they get every single penny worth of their trip. If we fail as cast members, their trip is also a failure. We want everyone to have a magical experience because it also makes our day, too.

Cast members work their butt off when they are in the park, sometimes up to four hours without a break, in the humidity, with no shade, and sweating in places that sweat should not be found. They are to look alive while on stage at all times, to make as much magic as possible while sweating through their costumes pretending it is not as hot out as it actually is.

As cast members, we do receive some wonderful perks from working at the park, and I’m going to take a moment to explain those:

We receive discounts on merchandise for ourselves only.
For the work that we do, we also receive 4 complimentary tickets a year (2 if you are seasonal). Four. FOUR. Yes, four a year. What makes these tickets so wonderful is that they have no block out dates, so they can used on any day as long as the parks aren’t at capacity. We can give these tickets to anyone, but with the recent rise in block out dates, these tickets are coveted because it is the only way we can get our family into places like The Magic Kingdom during their visit.
CMs also have this beautiful card called a maingate. This card lets the CM get in 3 people per day, up to 16 times per year (6 if you are seasonal). But I’d like to tell you exactly why this does not benefit you…

There have been some years I only used my maingate maybe once or twice. Other years where I used up every single pass. Part of the rules when using the maingate is that as a cast member, if I let you in with it, I have to stay with you during your entire park visit (unless you’re family). And if I don’t know you, or if you are trying to come in with your boyfriend for a romantic day at the parks, it is sure going to get weird having me around. On top of that, I just spent the last 12 days working 8-12 hour shifts at the park you are visiting, and the only place I want to be is curled up with Netflix, avoiding the sun like the plague.

Now your next argument is, “But how will they know you aren’t with us?”

And that is a very valid question. Because Disney might not follow us around all day to make sure we split up. The keyword there is might. When you get into the park, you are holding onto my sacred guest pass that I have to have returned to me, and if I don’t know you very well you might:

Never return the pass to me and
Make me lose my job by doing something dumb

If you are someone I don’t know very well, it is not worth it for me to risk my source of income because you don’t want to spend any of yours.

On top of that, as I said earlier, I might just want to stay home and relax instead of making the trek to the park for someone I’m not very close to.

However, if you are a good friend, or family (objective, of course), it is a no brainer that I am letting you in. We are going to go to the parks together and I am going to show you the best way to get around the park and we are going to have an absolute blast.

But if I don’t know you- do not ask me for tickets. Before you do, think to yourself, “Would I hang out with this person if they didn’t work at Disney? Have I talked to them in the last year? Do they know who I am?”

Because if you do ask, and we know you’re just trying to use us, then we will screenshot whatever you send us and use it for story time backstage at work the next day.

And if you ask, and the CM says they can’t because they have plans with their family for their passes or they are working those days, thank them anyway! Do not be angry. Take that opportunity to ask them for any advice about the parks and listen to it. They know what they’re talking about. 🙂

Sincerely,

An ex-cast member who will not ask her Disney friends to hook you up on your trip

P.S. I realize seasonal doesn’t get these perks any longer – this was written quite some time ago! Even more reason why seasonal would be safeguarding them now 😉

Happy birthday, KAYLA! The Kayla & Andrea journey.

March 7, 20154 Comments

Today is Kayla’s birthday, and I wish so badly I could be there in person to say so (actually almost went to be honest ha) but since I can’t- here’s my tribute to miss Kayla because she deserves it and so much more.

I first met Kayla ONLINE. We were both a part of the Disney College Program Spring 2011 hopefuls on Facebook, and ended up in a group Skype chat. We clicked immediately, and before I knew it we had a crazy idea that we should be roommates if we both got accepted- AND WE DID! We were calling each other all the time, Skyping, texting, Facebooking- you name it! We even did this really awesome secret santa gift exchange with our Disney friends and I got Kayla as mine!

We officially met in person at Downtown Disney in Orlando a few days before checking in for our college program- we were on the phone trying to find each other and once we saw each other we actually ran towards each other and hugged and Kayla grabbed my face and was like “YOU’RE REAL!” Hahaha! We were really excited to do this crazy thing together of quitting everything back home to go work for Disney. It was a dream come true.

We went to Magic Kingdom and Disney’s Hollywood Studios before starting our internship and it was the most magical day because of a few reasons. First off, there was barely anyone in the park. Second, we met Mickey and Minnie and it was actually tear-jerking. I never thought I would be transported back into my childhood so easily while getting to share it with my new best friend! Thirdly, our friends Derek and Stephanie spent the day with us almost as an aunt and uncle because we literally felt like kids.

Living together, we were inseparable. We shared a room, and not once got sick of each other. We had each other’s back. We stayed up all night talking almost every night- which is really bad with the schedules we had but we didn’t care!

When I had to wake up early, Kayla would set an alarm for me and make sure I was out of bed. One time, we made a joke that we should push our beds together in our room and I came home to find that Kayla did just that. And we didn’t change it for WEEKS! Haha!

We both loved Coke, so we always split that when it came to groceries. But we also got really lucky and wore the same size in EVERYTHING so we shared shoes, dresses, and shirts probably more than we wore our own clothes. One time at the park, Kayla noticed that I wasn’t in a very good mood and she surprised me that day by buying us matching hats. That’s the kind of person she is so of course I didn’t mind sharing everything with her!

Every day was an adventure during our DCP and Kayla will forever be the best roommate in the entire world.

Anyway. Kayla is amazing. To have her in your life is a true pleasure. She has accomplished so many amazing things. She’s a natural leader, and extremely talented. After Kayla’s Disney College Program she got a Professional Internship at Disney as a Retail Guest Service Manager at a BRAND NEW RESORT (Art of Animation). She did so well there that she left a lasting impression on ever single cast member, and ended up getting a position at Epcot as a manager.

As you can tell, Kayla really is great. She just a new job as a coordinator at the Sheraton in Ohio and guaranteed- she’ll be doing big things one day.

Kayla, happy birthday. You are the best friend I could ever ask for. You have been there for me in times when I wasn’t even there for myself. You push me to want to be a better person, to follow my dreams, and to never stop working hard. I miss every single day and I can’t wait to be reunited again! I love that we get to talk every day because it keeps me sane! I love you best friend!

A Beginning to my Goodbye to Disney

February 28, 2015April 24, 2016Leave a comment

Because I can’t quite come up with the words to say goodbye, I’m going to try starting with a post capturing some of my favorite pictures from working at Disney (post-college program mostly, since that’ll be it’s own!). You don’t realize how much a place has impacted you until you not only leave but attempt to summarize it. Well, here it is visually.

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Happy Galentine’s Day!

February 14, 2015February 14, 2015Leave a comment

If you’re a fan of Parks and Rec, then you know today is the holiday Leslie Knope herself created: GALENTINE’S DAY! A day to celebrate your girl friends and to focus on friendship.

I wish I could round up each of the girls in my life who are so special, but decided instead that maybe a blog post tribute would be the most practical. So in honor of the wonderful ladies I know, I’d like to take a moment to talk about some girls who deserve a shout-out because of how great they are.

So, ladies, Happy Galentine’s Day! I hope it’s just as special as you 😉

Jennifer DeBrino

You are a wonderful sister, despite the phase of stealing my clothes ;)- I am so proud of you. From search and rescue, to being an EMT, and being back in school full-time… you are an inspiration to women everywhere! I love you!

Lisa DeBrino

Mom, you are the most beautiful and wonderful woman to look up to. I’m so glad you put up with me since I call you almost every day because it sucks not talking to you. Thanks for always giving me advice in every situation, and supporting me and my dreams. I love you!

Kayla Marburger

It’s not often you can live with someone in the same room and not end up hating them at some point. It’s actually not often that you can live in the same room with a person and only get mad at them once because I was sad you were leaving me. Kayla, you are so incredible, I’m so lucky to have a friend like you in my life! Getting to talk to you each day is always a highlight, and it really sucks being so far apart. I miss you!

Makenzie Hickam

Thank God for group texting. Talking to you and Mariela about the most random things makes bad moments turn into silly ones, and silly ones into a good story for me to tell Dan (baha). But really, I miss our adventures, and girl nights, and can’t wait to see you and Mariela once again! Also, “you are my rock” haha!

Mariela Santana

Like I said about Makenzie, thank GOODNESS FOR OUR GROUP TEXT! It is my favorite texts to get. I’m so happy you found a job you enjoy, and I’m so jealous of your rock-hard abs. I miss you, please visit.

Kendra Cotton

Oh, Kendra. Thank you for being there for me in sixth grade when no one else was, again in junior high, and again after high school when I really needed to get out of a horrible situation. I’m so happy I can count on you to be a lifelong friend that I can cherish forever.

Autumn Welt

I am so happy we ended up in a house together at Universal for Halloween Horror Nights. I didn’t expect to make any friends, and boy was I wrong. Whenever I watch a “chick flick”, I always think back to the times we spent together complaining about men, daydreaming about a better future, and chopping off our hair (let’s never do that again). I miss you, Autumn!

Amalie Marti

I feel like there isn’t enough thanks to give you after not just my 22nd birthday, but our night downtown. You have always been so wonderful. I miss going to Buffalo Wild Wings with everyone to literally complain for hours straight, and drink $2 long islands. You are so beautiful and I am so proud of you every time I see you running ANOTHER marathon! My goodness!

Tehane Huang

Working at Captain Jack would have been so awful without you there. And I know this because it had to happen a few times. Thank you for being yourself, always, and believing in the best of people- especially me. I’ll never forget our summer together where we literally did nothing but watch movies, learn spanish, and eat food. You are the best person at Disney, period.

Patterson 1306

Carly, Dee, Katy, Sarah, and Kayla- I will never, ever forget the time we spent together as roommates on the college program. Thank you for putting up with me for four months. Getting to live with you girls was part of the best experience of my life, and I am so lucky to have been a part of that group. You are all amazing. It’s so wonderful seeing each one of you grow every day!

Amie Greene

One of my first friends at UNLV, and now my film buddy! I am so happy I have to you sit with as we endure both wonderful and awful films in our classes. You are so passionate, and it’s so great seeing someone so set on their dreams no matter what it takes to get there!

Camille Slusher

Camille. I can’t believe we had to reunite at DISNEYLAND to reconnect, but I don’t think it would have been as “magical” any other way. You are so wonderfully perfect, and I am so lucky to get to have you in my life! I can’t wait to see you at Disney in June.

Cindy, Katie, Tammie, & Diana Blickensderfer

You are all so wonderful. I love how creative and smart you all are, and how competitive everyone is when it comes to board games! Thank you for letting me join in on all the family activities and making me feel welcomed. Can’t wait to see you all at Tammie’s wedding!

Cyndi Proctor

Cyndi! I love talking to you on Facebook. And it’s silly that we haven’t met yet, which is why I’m so excited for March Madness. Thank you for being the best match for Scott, I can tell by how he talks about you (and smiles when you text him), and clearly there is a reason why! 🙂

Annie & Celine

I wasn’t expecting to find close friendships when I joined UNLV DECA, and as usual, I am wrong! Thank you for being my workout partner (Annie), and for always being so kind (the both of you). You are both so determined and smart, and I can’t wait to see where you go in life.

Shelby Webb

Oh, Shelby. You are my favorite source of entertainment at Disney. I miss talking to you in the middle of the night, and I love being able to complain to you about everyone else. You never fail to put a smile on my face and inform me of everything I have missed at Disney.

Roxanne Davies

It’s amazing how far we’ve come since January 2011, and just how in-synced our paths have always been. I’ll never forget calling you to pick me up because my car had broken down but you were in tears because yours had, too! What are the odds? Thank you for being there for Luna when I had to deal with that awful situation, and I hope everything in your life is going just how we always dreamed it would be 🙂

Cheryl Brooks

Thank you for introducing me to Cruden, and getting to be a part of the IAAPA experience. And for being a friend to me when everyone else seemed to turn their back. It was a blessing to have a friend listen and not make any assumptions. And of course, thank you for not giving me too much crap for when I decided to have fun at Cafe Tu Tu Tango for my 23rd! Haha.

Brooke Upholzer

Brooke, you are so talented and inspiring. And, not many people can pull off quite literally any hair color. Getting to know you through Tumblr and then in the Mouseketeria after randomly running into each other isn’t how most people meet at Disney, but I’m so glad it happened! I love reading your stories online, and getting to know you more. I hope I can see you soon!

Cynthia Cox

I am so happy I met you in astronomy at UNLV, because it brought me a wonderful friendship! I love hanging out with you and Chris. You guys are so much fun, and you don’t make me feel like a mom (since we’re actually the same ageish haha). Miss you!

Katie Aboujaoude

I can’t believe we have hung out at Disneyland TWICE, that is just insane. It was so great seeing how happy you are, and I hope there is nothing but that in the future! I miss our camping and lake trips, singing The Killers in the car, and taking way too many pictures.

Shelby Shoemaker

Shelby you are one of the most hardworking girls I know, and you never let anyone pull you down. We had a rocky start in junior high (haha), but getting to know you and Janelle and Katie was the best part of Kenmore Junior High. Thanks for always being my friend even after all these years.

The AGD Girls (PC 14, Jenna… well the whole chapter…)

I figured this picture best summed up my experience in AGD 🙂 Thank you ladies for bringing me into such a wonderful group of girls and not hating me when I couldn’t make it work with my schedule. I miss our days together and I love you all!

I KNOW there are so many other wonderful ladies in my life, so I will try to update this throughout the week. But for now, I got to get ready for the day tomorrow and finish my homework. 🙂

Happy Galentine’s Day, everyone!