A week from hell (with some sides of good)

In summary, within the last week I have cut open my thumb, burnt my hand, cut open my leg, and almost passed out mid-meeting.

Last week I was meal prepping and cut my thumb pretty badly because the knife slipped while I was attempting to core the bell peppers. So, one handed I finished prepping then went to cook dinner: stuffed poblano peppers. I rarely ever put pans in the oven, so once it was out on the counter I totally forgot it just emerged from 12 minutes in 425 degrees and… I grabbed the handle. It was awful. My hand felt like it was on fire for hours, looked like it was going to blister, so at 1am I popped over to urgent care to find some kind of remedy.

A few days later, I went to move the dog play pen and ended up cutting open my leg when I swung my leg over. It’s very sore and any kind of pressure is unpleasant.

Then yesterday happened. I felt great at the start of the day – nice workout, my coffee was finally good (this is rare at my office), and I had some oatmeal. Work was going really well and I just felt confident. I had a meeting at 12:15 and right before it I just started feeling off. I was so cold and it felt like I couldn’t warm up even though I was wrapped in a sweater. I went into my meeting and just kept thinking I would power through the meeting then see about going home if I didn’t feel any better.

Well, my body had a different idea. During the meeting everything got really fuzzy and it felt like I was about to pass out. I had no idea what to do. So I stood up and headed to the bathroom only to get an alert from my Apple Watch that my heart rate had suddenly spiked to 180. I was really scared. I went back and told my boss what was happening, called Lenny to come pick me up, and immediately went to urgent care. Doctor basically said they can’t determine what had happened, but my heart rate and blood pressure were higher than normal and my EKG was normal, too.

So I stayed home from work today. Something I haven’t done in a long time. I have no idea what caused yesterday to happen, but it really scared me and I’m still pretty freaked out.

Aside from all that, there’s been some positive changes as well.

First off… we got a new puppy! His name is Rollo and he’s about 9 weeks old now.


He’s kind of a monster, so it’s pretty hard to get a good photo of him. But he’s my favorite one so far of him with his big sister, Snickers!


Second, I went blonde which has been really fun.


Third, I closed my first deal at work – I’m only 6 weeks in and I guess the “norm” is for that to happen around 12 weeks! It was really exciting and I can’t wait to see what else happens with my job. I’ve been really happy in my new position and I really, really enjoy what I do. My boss even got me something to celebrate with!


Not really sure what the next couple weeks are going to look like. I’m really hoping I turn out okay. We shall see. I do know I have missed reading & writing and I’ve been trying to spend less time on social media and more on just investing in myself whether it’s reading a chapter instead of mindless scrolling, taking a hot bath, or watching a ton of Netflix. I feel a lot better.

I’m also really thankful to have Lenny – he has been so helpful this week and I don’t know how I could have handled all this alone.


Here’s to better weeks.



The Struggle of Losing Weight (& other updates)

Hey friends – it’s been a very long time since I wrote something.

I’m slightly disappointed in myself for putting aside a lot that is important to me: a big one being writing. I’ve realized that I’ve just been lazy when it comes to what I’m passionate about, and that I keep saying no to things that scare me instead of taking a chance on them.

So lately I have been practicing saying yes. Especially when it comes to plans – I think I get in this comfortability and just end up staying at home, so I’m trying really hard to break my Netflix routine. Whether it’s to meet up with friends, go hiking, or just read a book – feels better than scrolling endlessly on my phone.

With that, I also need to really step out of my comfort zone of food. I have been eating like absolute crap, and it’s really going against my goal of losing weight. I’m at the gym about 5-6 days/week and I’m not making any progress because I’m eating like shit. The plus side is that I am getting stronger, but I haven’t seen many results on the scale or in my measurements.

One thing I’m proud of is that last week I stuck to my meal prep for lunch every day. I tried really hard to stay under my calories for the day and I mostly accomplished it. This week will be tougher because I’m traveling for work, but I’m going to still be good – especially because I won’t have access to a gym. I’m going to make up for it by walking to work every day I’m here (1.5 miles each way).

Another accomplishment of the week was being able to add weight to my bench press. When I first started weight lifting, I had a lot of trouble benching just the bar: I could barely get through 10 reps in just one set. Eventually I was able to do about 4 sets of 12 with the bar. Then this week I added 5 pounds and was able to do 3 sets of 12 with it.

So, a few non-scale victories. But not seeing any other progress has been so discouraging. But it’s my fault, and I really need to step it up and get back into it on the food front. I’ll try to post about my meals to keep myself accountable (and to help anyone having the same struggle as me!).

The best part of this whole process is having a group of friends to keep me accountable on my fitness (Makenzie, Roxanne, Danielle, & Rachelle). I’m not sure how I started getting tagged in things but I love that I got pulled into it. I love you guys.

Aside from the attempt at weight loss, I have two huge updates in my life: 1) Lenny is back home from deployment and 2) I started a new job last week. Each of those items will get their own post, because there’s a lot to unpack there.

Otherwise, things are pretty groovy. I’m currently in San Francisco for week two of my new job, wishing I had better shoes.

Goals for this week:

  1. Walk to work in SF
  2. Stay accountable on calories
  3. Don’t give up on my health
  4. Be consistent (food & gym)
  5. Write about my new job (& Lenny)



Short Life Update

I really hate writers block. I’ve been avoiding writing, which is odd because it’s such a release for me, but every time I try to nothing happens. So I’m taking advice from an old teacher to just do it anyway.

My big focus right now: weight loss. Well, that and work. I’m currently in busy season at my job and I’ve been working around the clock. Normally I’d be complaining, but I truly love what I’m doing right now and it’s been all my choice to put in the hours that I am. I just really want to do well – to be the kind of recruiter that actually connects with the candidates. I want to be honest in my feedback to people and I want to be transparent throughout the entire process. It’s been a challenge being a first-time recruiter for such a huge company, but I feel like this job is meant for me in a way.

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So then there’s the weight loss. I have quite a bit to get rid of. My first goal is to lose 40 pounds, then see where I’m at once I reach that point. If I’m happy before that point, I’d also be happy to stop. The next step after the loss will be to really focus on toning and cutting.

I joined Lifetime Athletic last week which is essentially a club – it’s also expensive as hell. But it being expensive has actually motivated me to show up to work out every day because I don’t want my money to go to waste. It’s time for me to fully invest in myself! My new routine has been: work, dinner, gym, bed. I love going to the gym later in the evening because not a lot of people are there. I’m still extremely self conscious when I work out in front of people, so it’s something I’m working to overcome by being comfortable there first.

I downloaded this app to get some guidance on work outs and food. I’m actually really excited about the meal plan that I got because it’s going to force me out of my comfort zone to try new things. And to actually cook! I love cooking and baking, so I can’t wait to get back into it. I’ve felt very lazy recently, which has been a product of some other personal issues, so this may help to pull me out of my rut.

It’s honestly been a tough month. I’ve just felt very lonely. I think it’s been a combination of all the changes that have been happening in my life, mixed with also trying to save money (unsuccessfully), lose weight, and taking care of the house by myself. It’ll probably get easier once work slows down – at least that’s what I’m really hoping.

I did finish up my travels this fall for work. I ended up visiting quite a few schools! Arizona State, Michigan State, Penn State, Cornell, Ithaca, University of Southern Mississippi, and UNLV (my alma mater). My favorite part about being on campus is meeting all these wonderful students who are just so excited to start their careers. I remember that feeling and want someone to experience a special recruiting experience just like I did. I almost miss it, in a way. It was exciting and exhausting all at once, but getting that call with my first official job offer literally made me cry. It felt like I could finally be an adult.

On a side note, I’m very excited for Christmas. I can’t wait to decorate. I’m also beyond stoked for Thanksgiving because I get to go home and see my family. I’ve really missed them.

I don’t feel very inspired like I usually do to write – so I’m making a promise to myself to try again tomorrow.

Thanks for tuning in for my short update 🙂




The past few weeks I… well, a lot happened.

Short list: I left the accounting industry, I started a new job, I attended two weddings (and was a bridesmaid for the first time), got to see my family, AND I saw Lenny for the first time in almost two months.

Today is actually one of those days that I want to write to remember how good I feel instead of writing to try and feel better. Just in the last couple weeks I feel as though my life has done a complete 180.

So, the big change for me: I left my job in audit, and accounting all together. I think anyone who has known me through college knew it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, which is funny because I did end up majoring in it. I’ve had so many people reach out after seeing my job update to say, “But… you majored in accounting. What about your degree?” My degree is a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with a focus on accounting. The reason I picked accounting is because it was the most technical and I felt it was one of the best ways to not just understand the entire business cycle but to also feel comfortable around the financials in the business. I was always hoping to use accounting to do something else in the future that I enjoyed more but considered it to be a good foundation to understand business overall 🙂 If people are really interested I can go into further detail about my experience as an auditor in public accounting, but most people just assume the usual myths that 1. I’m good at math, 2. I can do their taxes, and 3. It meant I was boring. Haha! All not true. So, where am I going now?

I started my new job as a recruiter a week ago. I am now a “college recruiter”, which basically means my main focus will be recruiting students who are either about to graduate or who are still in college, for various positions in either internships, leadership programs, or direct placements. What else does it mean? Lots of travel to various campuses. My first trip is next week!

Since my new job has started, everything feels different. I feel like a whole new person. I’m excited to wake up in the mornings. My days are going by so quickly. I love my coworkers and how welcoming every single person has been. Since my work life has improved, my mental state and home life have, too. I’m more motivated to do things: I’m working out every day, I’m eating healthier, and for the first time I actually feel as though I can relax when I get home. I didn’t realize how something as “small” as getting a new job (well, career) could make the biggest difference.

The crazy part is that it has changed other things in my life, too: I feel more confident, and more like myself. Which has impacted my relationships as well – with Lenny, friends, family. I just feel like things are overall better. I’m very happy right now. I know it has only been a week but it’s all so different.


Last weekend I got to see Lenny for the first time in almost two months, and it was a whirlwind of emotions. We haven’t really been able to communicate a whole lot while he’s been gone, which has been really tough when you’re attempting to maintain a long distance relationship. Getting to see each other and actually sit and talk helped tremendously, more so because we know what to expect during the deployment now, and we know what goals we have. I am beyond excited for our future together and I am so proud of him. Not only is he getting ready to go overseas but he’s spending his free time studying master-level courses. He’s unbelievable (Lenny, I love you).

There’s more to say – much more, actually, but this is the latest I’ve stayed up in awhile and it’s time to attempt to get some sleep after this long, 3-day weekend 😉 I hope everyone was safe over Labor Day.




I just finished watching “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society”


I’ve been in quite the funk, if it isn’t too obvious. I’m trying to find the slivers of motivation to work out, to finish cleaning my house, to organize my pantry, replace my comforter, and to finally… buy a printer. Instead I’ve been drowning myself in Law and Order: SVU episodes and spending my time in the same spot on my [rather large] sectional, eating sunflower seeds and telling myself that I’ll start on my life tomorrow.

I saw a trailer for The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society earlier this summer, and I have since been awaiting the arrival on Netflix. I knew it was coming out in August, but for some reason I got it in my head that it wasn’t being released until much later in the month. To my surprise, I clicked through Netflix tonight and came across the movie – the first one waiting for me in the “New Releases” section.

First off, I believe Lily James might just be the most heavenly person on the Earth. I think she has done a fantastic job in her films, and I especially loved her in Cinderella. I’m still kicking myself for being in London and missing her role in Romeo and Juliet. Second, I love anything to do with London – I’ve always been rather drawn to it, especially since I got to spend a summer there in college. And third, I adore a great love story. I got just a few minutes into it and sent a text to Lenny saying:

I’ve been watching a love story movie that I’ve been waiting to see. Probably a terrible idea. Makes me miss you.

To be completely open, I’ve been a bit of an emotional mess lately. Someone said to me the other day, “I don’t know how you do it.” They were referring to my relationship with Lenny. I’m not sure if I come across as that strong of a person who is able to take on anything, but if so, I must be a pretty good actress. It’s been taxing. I go to sleep in a bed that’s too large for one person. I find myself at the grocery store still trying to shop for the treats or meals that Lenny enjoys, and instead of stopping myself from getting them, I make the purchase anyway and have it for myself, pretending a piece of him is at home. He used to be my alarm clock in the morning: that crazy man would get up at 4am and come wake me up when it was time for me to get ready for my day. Now I get to wake up to Britney Spears singing “Work Bitch”, and I don’t even get to enjoy the morning cuddles. It’s just an empty pillow next door.

Having a significant other on a deployment has a million different challenges: those bad days at work that used to be a phone call away from getting better have turned into a bottled message, sealed shut and buried deep. My emotions have sky rocketed: I went to a cycle class on Saturday with my friend Katelyn, and the instructor played a song that had a lyric that said, “Everything will be alright”, or something along those lines. She told us to bow our heads, and close our eyes… and I never thought I would have any sort of emotional undoing with a seat wedged into my pelvis, but thank god I was sweating so much that my tears could blend it with my face. And the worst part is, I can’t tell this to my person: he’s not too far away currently, but he’s mostly unreachable. And when we finally do get to talk, I’m trying to remain positive and supportive, something I find myself needing to work on. Which is why I’ve turned to writing. I’m hoping that by expressing myself and releasing all these emotions, I’ll be able to bring joy into the other aspects of my life.

So, tonight I watched a movie I’ve been longing to see, and I wasn’t disappointed. I cried a lot, which is the normal for me – movies have that effect on me. But I also felt a tinge of inspiration, following the floodgates of emotion. There’s a variety of characters in the film that made me want to write more, express myself further, and to be a positive change in the world. It almost reminds me of Hamilton:

Legacy? What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.

I don’t believe the goal of leaving behind a legacy is so awful, because a garden is a place many others can enjoy. But I’m not looking to fully dedicate my life to leaving behind something, so much so that everything I love gets left in the rear view: I just mean that I want to leave joy in the places that I go, and practice being compassionate, loving, understanding, and helpful. I get these moments of being annoyed or frustrated, and I take them out on others so easily. I look back on those moments so soon after and begin to hate myself for such a relapse. I spend so much time on negative energy that I feel as though I’ve turned into a person without hope. But instead I want to try and focus on the positive things, and rally the different parts of myself to find the courage to both try and to fail.

I realized I’ve barely written about the movie. But I think if you want to watch something that will warm your soul, I highly recommend it.

What do you know, it’s 12:30am and I’m still awake – but hey, what’s new? Time to add a new goal to my list: stop going to bed after midnight.

Lots of love,